Of Mothers and Daughters
Mother’s Day always reminds us of the sacrifices our mothers have done and still do for us. How they love us, how they’d take on the world for us, how they’d go without just so they can give us all we need, how they’d quiet our fears, nurse our broken hearts, offer solace for our weary souls, cry with us, laugh with us, inspire, support, believe in us and do all things imaginable and unimaginable for us. And so, while this article obviously missed last Sunday’s tribute for mothers by several days, I’m still turning it in hoping that it does its job in honoring mothers and two very special women in my life: my mother, Melinda, and my daughter, Danielle. Both have taught me much about motherhood. But first, let me talk about my mother.
Melinda, the eldest of six children, was born 65 years ago to a poor but hardworking couple in Zamboanga del Sur. Hers hasn’t been a fairytale life. At a very tender age, just to be able to finish her education here in the city, she had to put up with being carted off from one relative to another where she stayed for as long as she was welcome. Away from home, her nights were lonely and the days were tough. Aside from schoolwork, she had to do household chores as a way of paying for her keep. Indeed, life was hard. But she persevered until she became a full-fledged grade school teacher. Her teaching career spanned 41 fruitful years and during this time, she molded countless students, instilling in them the values that she herself models like perseverance, dedication, commitment, endurance, self-sacrifice, loyalty, strength of character, discipline, order, faith and many others. To this very day, she continues to teach the same values to us, her children. In addition, she has nurtured our family and managed to keep us together against all odds. Talk about resiliency. She has risen up time and again, after every fall, despite every challenge. That is my mother. Thank you, Mom. We love you and are proud of you. Now, my daughter…
Before Danielle, although I knew that getting married meant being open to the possibility of motherhood, somehow, I never quite pictured how I’d be as a mother. Only when Danielle came into my life eleven years ago in a totally unexpected way, turning my world upside down, did I find out exactly the kind I’d be. Danielle taught me some of my harshest, deepest, and life-altering lessons. To think I used to equate wisdom only with the old and the grown-up. Danielle proved me wrong, Without meaning to but by just being herself, she taught me how to accept the “unacceptable” and love the “unlovable”. Because Danielle was my exact opposite, at first, it bothered me that she was different and it embarrassed me no end when she’d throw tantrums in public. So I tried hard to mold her to be like me but it was an exercise in futility. I guess, you just can’t win over nature. In the end, I had to simply accept that she’s meant to be different from me. When I did, I slowly learned the art of patience and grace under pressure. And the more I open myself up to and embrace the person she is, more lessons inevitably come well. Danielle teaches me how to seize and savor each moment, how to bring back awe and wonder into my jaded life, how to loosen up and let go, how to be less rigid and structured and how to have fun, to laugh at life, at myself, and at my foibles. Because she dreams big, expecting only the best things in life as though they were her due, and acts as though there are no limits to what she can do, be and achieve, she teaches me faith. In her I see what it means to fully trust the Divine and Life to give us only the best because most times her dreams come true almost effortlessly. And if I ever needed proof that miracles happen, I only have to look at her and I cannot but believe it. These are among Danielle’s many gifts for me. I was not prepared to love her when she came, but because of her, I now know that I can be a good and loving mother and that I can love others better because she has taught me how. Thank you, Danielle. I love you.
I guess I can never quite capture and express in words everything that my mother and my daughter have given me. But this much I know: my life is definitely richer just by their being in it.
To all our mothers and children, thank you for all that you are and for all that we are and have become because of you. We will forever be grateful.