When You’re Too Shy to Make Conversation or Eye Contact
Imagine you’re shopping at a grocery store, you see an attractive girl behind the counter, but you couldn’t make eye contact at her. She smiles at you, you smile back but looked down a bit then walk away blushing and feeling awkward. Then you start hating yourself for being shy and not being able to approach and get to know her.
Has this ever happened to you? Well you’re not alone. This has been a problem for many of us and we all hate it.
What causes shyness?
Shyness is basically fear of the unknown. It occurs when we are in unfamiliar situations.
We don’t know what people will say or think of us when we do something that is new to us. We avoid such situations to avoid feeling uncomfortable, hence the situation remains unknown and we remain shy.
How do we get over it?
Make the situation known! Force yourself to do it. Now I know we all don’t like the answer, but how else would you conquer fear aside from facing it?
What’s the worst that can happen if you go and say hi? She rejects you, people start laughing at you, and you walk away feeling stupid.
Is that so bad? Well, yes. But imagine this, what if you knew that you would end up with the girl of your dreams, but to get to her you’d have to be rejected and humiliated by 20 girls. What would you do? Wouldn’t you sacrifice your reputation to achieve your dream? I would go girl hunting right away! I would be very happy each time I get rejected, knowing that I’m getting closer to my goal.
Back to reality, we don’t exactly know how many times we’ll get rejected. But one thing is sure; every time you try, you’re one step closer to your dream.
Change your mindset
Changing the way you think during such situations should give you some courage to take action.
| From | To |
| What if I get rejected? | Most people get rejected before they meet the right one. |
| If I don’t try, I keep my dignity. | If I don’t try, I fail and lose my dignity. |
| Can I do it? I don’t even know what to say. | I’m not sure I can do it, but I can learn with each experience. |
| It’s easy for others because they… | If I keep trying, it will soon be easy for me. |
| What if she doesn’t like me? | I like her and I want to know if she will like me. |
Some conversation starters I use
If you have a problem starting a conversation, here are some tips:
- A simple hi or hello with a smile, followed by a “How are you?”.
- Comment on something we both share in our environment, such as the hot temperature we’re experiencing or the long line we’re both waiting.
Share your experience
- Were you able to overcome shyness?
- What did you do to get over it?
- How do you start a conversation?
Well you need to have some openers ready to be fired.. Like opinion openers.