Enchanting Relationships
Just last week, I got a very unexpected but welcome treat. I found a book, Enchanted Love that offers answers to the questions on romantic love.
The author, Marianne Williamson says: “Forget your old ideas. Forget the lies they told you. Forget them all and you will begin to remember. There is a realm of romantic enchantment that makes the world we are currently living in seem not so very important, and not even so very real. That realm is entered two by two…”
Williamson believes that the myth of romantic love is a collective lie. She says romantic love is real and that we are meant to experience it if we do not balk at the work that is required of us. And if we understand that the deeper purpose of relationships is to nourish one’s own and the beloved’s spiritual growth, we can create our little piece of heaven right here on earth. This is because relationships are meant to create a healing space where partners can be their true selves, show their worst, do their most difficult emotional work, and yet be accepted and loved.
Problem with relationships is that they are not romantic
Looking at the state of most relationships today, however, it is evident that many married couples or those in committed relationships probably don’t know or have forgotten this truth.
Some go into a relationship either blindly or hastily or both only to discover much later that instead of a healing place, they just created a venue for aggravating or feeding each other’s neuroses. Other couples succumb to the societal pressure for procreation and material security.
Romance is not about past or future, society or worldly routines
Couples either become totally absorbed in achieving financial stability or in prioritizing their children’s interest and welfare above all, neglecting their own and their partner’s needs. In the process, love and spiritual growth are relegated to the background. Before they know it, the romance is over. Everything has become routine, predictable and ordinary. The magic is gone.
Clearly, if we want to have sacred and enchanted partnerships, we must consider priorities beyond procreation and security. Already, our world is very heavily populated and resources have become scarcer. And look at the children we are raising. In our desire to spare them our growing up pains and deprivation, we’ve gone overboard in trying to shield them from life’s harsh realities, pandering to most of their whims and caprices.
Yet despite our best efforts, we seem to have succeeded only in producing mostly apathetic, attention-deficient, dependent, insecure, selfish, weak, undisciplined, grasping, aggressive, lazy, complacent, and even violent children – children who appear to be worse off than we were then.
This is the world we are unconsciously creating today – one where love, romance and magic are very rarely experienced.
Romance is about who two people really are
Somewhere along the way, we forgot that our most important role in relationships is to nourish our love for self and for the beloved so that we can create a happy, healthy, stable and loving environment for our families even as we work for the other things we want in life.
We forgot that the best hope of a bright future for the next generation are parents who are conscious and mature enough to love each other and allow each to reveal one’s neurotic patterns, one’s weakest, darkest aspects so that together, the partners may work on them and heal themselves.
If we can be these kinds of partners, then we need not pass on to the next generation our dysfunction and the very experiences we are trying so hard to keep our offspring from repeating. Then we can transform this world of fear into one of love, creating the perfect atmosphere for raising healthy, happy, and well-adjusted children.
Relationships are meant to create a healing space
This is the magic of enchanted relationships: they liberate and empower us. They push our buttons and show us our walls, our limits, our deepest wounds so that we can heal. They are contracts for a deeper purpose than mere procreation or protection. They are partnerships for growing in consciousness enabling us to birth the miraculous things of spirit.
Unless these are the relationships we are in, we will not succeed in giving our children our best legacy – a healthy psyche – the wellness of mind, body and spirit.
And if the relationships we are in are not sacred or enchanted, then perhaps, it is time to listen to that still, small, but unmistakable Voice within that always knows best what makes life complete. When we do, He will lead us to the path we must take, the choices we must make and the work we must do to create the enchantment we want in our lives.