Lately I have been so lonely, realizing that you are distant from me, that all I can do is dream about the warmth of your touch, the feel of your skin, the softness of your lips… It feels like a hundred days have passed since we have been apart, if only you could be here with me, then all of this aching would go away.

I hope that you feel the same way too, because I miss you so much, and nothing in the things I do, or the people I talk to could ever make up for your absence. I feel miserable without you; it is just not the same. Right now, you are just too far away, if only I could have wings to be there with you.

Life is just not life, without you… Please come back to me, since you have been gone, I feel like I a child lost, trying to take little steps to find his way home… without you I have realized how much harder it is to live life every day.

Right now all I can do is pray that somehow someday we will go back to the way like it was before… because without you, life has no meaning… and it is just so much harder because we are physically together, but emotionally apart. I miss you loving me…

Missing you,

James

]]> http://www.scribblejoint.com/440/you-are-too-far-away-2/feed 0 http://www.scribblejoint.com/211/thank-you-for-the-moments http://www.scribblejoint.com/211/thank-you-for-the-moments#comments Wed, 08 Jul 2009 05:45:49 +0000 Tim http://www.scribblejoint.com/?p=211 Who would ever believe that we would go this far? With all the obstacles we faced, we still hang tough together. It was not love alone, neither the determination for longevity, but it is what we call fate. Destined to be together, no matter what trials come are way, me for you and you for me.

My first sight of you, almost instantly calmed my restless heart, like a bullet train put to stop with one wave of the conductor’s hand. It was temporary insanity, all the emotions juggled up, not knowing exactly how to put in one word how I really felt. And though years have passed, my memory of our first encounter stayed vividly in my mind. I can still remember the tremble when I first held your hand, the shiver when I first felt your lips, the warmth when I first experienced your embrace.

The first moments were the foundations of our relationship, the little tremble, the little shiver and the little warmth, the feelings that made us realize that this was going to be something big, and yes, it was bigger than we ever imagined.

Entering our fifth year made me realize that the efforts we’ve put in this relationship never went to waste. Our love, understanding, care and sacrifices were the catalysts to what I call an almost perfect relationship.

I would like to thank you for all the moments that you have given me and shared with me. It was an all encompassing feeling, which led me to who I have become now. You and our relationship has been a daily inspiration for me. Thank you, I can’t promise you a bed of roses but I promise to be with you through all the thorns you have to face, with passion and deep indulgence.

Before you came, life was a routine; I opened my life to no one but myself. Afraid to trust, scared to love, wary that any sort of relationship could only break me in pieces. I never had the courage to believe in me again, to believe in relationships, to look into this life and see that there is still something good in all of these. It was like life was not that enticing anymore, that all I really had to do was wake up, eat, do the tasks that I need to do and then sleep. I needed that touch of hope, that Midas touch that would make things valuable make, my life valuable.

I became a man of no ambition, no dream, all of it died when my heart broke in the last relationship I engaged in. I took the backseat in my life, no sense of drive, no sense of direction. There was a point wherein I felt that I could not love anymore, I could not love much because it would hurt much if it will fall down and crumble. But just when I wanted to let go, there is this plot of heaven that brought someone like you into my life, not knowing how it really happened. I opened my eyes and there you were in front of me, like a flash of lightning, it was finally time for the sun to set back into my life.

Honestly, the night that I set out to meet you, I had no expectations, all I knew was, I just wanted to see you and be friends with you. I never thought that on the day I came to meet you, life would suddenly change. I may not say that there was an instant attraction but there was a delayed effect, after meeting you, I felt good, I felt happy… I knew that something good will happen… and yes, something good did happen.

With little ounce of courage, I set foot on a journey of love. I knew that whatever was left in this weary heart of mine, I will put it all on the line just to have someone like you in my life. The moment I set my eyes on you, I was definitely stuck. You had the sort of face that would launch a thousand ships, the candor that would calm the restless seas. By just being you, you swept me off my feet.

It was not what you said, but it was how you made me feel. Your warm voice, your gentle touch, those were the things that eventually pulled me out of the dark. I can’t thank you enough for the joy you have brought to my life; you made waking up exciting again…

And here I am again, flirting with the four letter word, this time more optimistic, more hopeful. I may not know how deep this is going to be, but definitely I won’t care if I drown, it really feels so good. Whatever it takes to get to your heart, I will try to get there, no matter what the circumstances will be, I will try to get there, somehow…

With all that I am, I love you… with all that I have, I love you… with what is one chance, I will give my all…. I am completely and deeply in love with you…..

Being born in this world was the best thing, and meeting you was the next best…A sudden tremble goes to my knees, resonance in my chest caused by the rapid beating of my heart, the world stops and I then melt, that is Darwin experiencing the nearness of you. If you ask me why I feel this way, I like you, in every possible way. This is something I never intended to happen, everything happened so fast, all you really had to do was to be You, and there I was stranded in the feeling of liking you. I tried to hide it from you, but feeling this way for you feels so right. This has been killing me, I’ve been thinking for how many weeks, but I guess being honest is the right thing to do. The feelings that I have, kept me awake at night, kept me wondering through the day, and somehow by not telling this to you, it made me feel incomplete and uncomfortable. I just had to let it out.

Try to picture this out, the day is so bad, it is so dark, the rain is so strong, winds gushing to who knows how many miles per hour, then you suddenly show up, sun comes out, the rain stops, the wind disappears, what was a bad day a minute before transcends into a great moment.. It is basically the analogy of you coming into my life. With everything so messed up in my life, there is you, the one thing that keeps my sanity, you that inspires me to hold on to the shimmer of hope that I have in my life. I find inspiration in you because who would have taught that in this one life of mine I would have a chance to meet this one woman, that from the moment I saw her, I knew in my heart she was the one, her hands were the one that I would have wanted to hold through whatever this life brings me, this woman who has beyond words surprisingly got stuck in my head, and my heart seemingly wouldn’t let go. This woman named Joan, with 4 letters I was swept away.

Lucky are those who had their moments with you, a chance to share their lives with yours. If only I would have the chance to bind my life with yours, with all that I have, I will give willingly and genuinely all my heart to you. I know somehow this will really make you uncomfortable, but I owe this to myself and to you. With the little friendship that we share, I found out that there is more to you than meets the eye. Everytime I want to believe that I see you as my friend but every moment you stand infront of me, my heart just refuses to accept that the goose bumps that I have are signs of me seeing you as a friend. I used to ask myself, that maybe this is just an infatuation, a mere craze that will eventually go away but why this much and why so constantly. You are the first person I think about the moment I wake up and the last person in my mind before I go to sleep. Everyday I go to school I look for you, seeing you would be enough to make my day complete.

As the holiday season approaches, I feel like a child, believing that Santa Claus still exists, for there is this one wish that I bear in my heart, a wish for a chance to get closer to you, a chance to know you more, a chance to be noticed by you… Some say wishes do come true, some say they don’t. Funny, I realized that my Santa is you, the one who will decide if this wish of mine will come true.

Maybe next year, if given the chance to fall in love again, I’d fall in love with you, yes maybe next year, or maybe now… who knows… ü

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